I am often asked how I adopted OSG. It is very obvious that he is adopted and people want to know his story. When he was little, it didn’t seem like a big deal to talk to people about his apparent situation. Now that he is a teenager, he desires that no one notice the differences. He wants to be like all of his peers. Yet, he is not and it is that fact that makes him feel insecure.
The question that I deal with on a regular basis is how do I help my son deal with his adoption in a way that will not cripple him in adulthood. He has to look head-on at the truth of his story and walk forward. This is such a hard part of adoption and has to be dealt with very carefully. There is no manual that came along with him offering suggestions on how to walk these unfamiliar waters. Even if I could glean a little from other people’s experiences, things would be different because of the way things manifest themselves in each person.
OSG is learning what his life is about. He has questions about his past. They are all the normal ones like, “Who were my biological parents?” “Why did they give me up?” “Am I like them?”
At this point, I answer none of them. I know some of the answers but he is not ready to hear all that I know. So I tell him that there will be a time that we will discuss all that I know but the time is not now. The only object that he and I have is to help him learn to live everyday fully, love the people in his life and dream about a future that is brimming over with good things. He needs to learn to forgive the people he is closest to now before he can deal with the severity that will come with his knowledge of his past. He needs to come to grips with the fact that he did nothing wrong. That sometimes life just works out that way. He needs to gain confidence in his own choices. I am excited to walk this journey with him. He is an amazing person. He has so much to offer the world and I get a front row seat to watch it. I am blessed. OSG is blessed. He just needs to mature and grow before he is ready to find out how much.
~Angie
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